Increased cases of temporary blindness

insane-mom

According to a recent study by MGII (Mothers Going Insane Institute), there has been a sharp increase of family members developing temporary blindness.  Waves of reports are coming in of children not locating their sporting uniforms that are clearly visible in the closet, husbands not being able to locate the ketchup bottle that is behind the milk carton, family members not being able to locate their items that are clearly visible without having to constantly ask the female head of the household.

The increase of temporary blindness in the past 5 years has increased significantly, up 150% from 2010.  Below are a list of symptoms:

  1. If your spouse says “honey, did we run out of mustard (or any other condiment)?  Of course we didn’t bloody run out of mustard!!!  Move the bloody milk carton and you will find the bloody mustard.
  2. If your son opens his drawer and can’t find his sporting jersey.  Of course the bloody jersey is in the drawer where all the other bloody sporting clothes are!!  Move the clothes on the top, and VOILA there is your jersey.
  3. If your daughter can’t find her IPOD – ummmm did you check your jacket pocket, because you were just listening to it in the car 5 minutes ago!!!!

This illness doesn’t just effect the infected, it also has very strange, odd side-effects on the female head who is the only member in the household that is able to locate items due to her ultra laser vision that was given to her by magical fairies.  There are, of course, hundreds of side-effect for the female but the top 3 are:

  1. The female will sporadically start yelling at no one at any moment of the day, this is where other family members need to abort the premises.
  2. The female will be found in locked dark closets eating unusual amounts of sugary foods that have been stored away in a secret vault which cannot be accessed by any other family member.
  3. The worst side-effect is when the female will abandon her mate & young and take off to an unknown place for an unknown amount of time, leaving the family members in utter distress and confusion.  Family members do not want the female to get to this point as it will only add to their temporary blindness causing all of them to be completely useless and non-functional.

There are no known medications for this illness, scientist at MGII are working hard at trying to find a remedy as quickly as possible to avoid female insanity and complete family destruction.

 

 

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